zoom out: i'd argue friendship breakups are a different breed of pain compared to their romantic variants—the latter is a punch to the stomach, but the grieving process is so intensive that it passes, eventually, you reset, and move on.
for friendships, they end on such an unfulfilling note—the "breakup" is dragged out as we drift apart for very valid life circumstances, like new cities, colleges, jobs, or even other friends. there is no real resolution. we don't enter a friendship with any clear expectations in mind, and that means we can exit friendships just as easily.
there's this saying that everything in the universe is moving farther apart and that's the imagery i think of when it comes to friendships. gravity brings us together for a solidly intense period of time—but it is inevitable that the space between us will grow, inch by inch. and its this tension between a once tenuous gravitational pull and an equally strong push away that makes me so bittersweet about my former friends.
^may workshop this later for a future piece, but curious to hear about others' experiences with drifting apart from friends and how it feels to reflect on those relationships 🪴
I definitely feel the absence of certain friendships in certain moments, but I do think the slow transition out of them is almost beautiful. Instead of a painful breakup, it’s more growing in separate areas. The people that once touched my life no longer fit the life I have now, but I love my life now. My decision-making philosophy is to do things I don’t regret, and while I made unfortunate choices, I also think that they were necessary at the time to know what I know now. So I’m a culmination of all these experiences, whether they continue or not into present day. <3
I think it’s beautiful that you felt so touched and moved by these people, and the absence of them in your life also made way naturally for other beautiful things. Change is necessary, and I think the point where people close themselves to change is honestly scarier than losing someone. Closing yourself to input is the true enemy. No one’s life is a completed project ~
Re: relationships vs friendships: Oftentimes in relationships the death comes from miles away as well, but we don’t see it because of hormones imo— and when it does come it feels jarring. Friendship breakups are just that natural process without the delusions.
Drifting and breakups happen but at the end of the day we choose who we want in our lives and I like to believe that even without the explicit social contract of lovers, that we will still commit and love the people we want in our lives in some capacity for the long haul
💞 and we'll never truly understand why it ended, or who they are today. but it's beautiful you only wish them happiness and that at some point in our life we were so close to another. thank you for sharing, it feels less bittersweet knowing this is a universal human experience 💞
zoom out: i'd argue friendship breakups are a different breed of pain compared to their romantic variants—the latter is a punch to the stomach, but the grieving process is so intensive that it passes, eventually, you reset, and move on.
for friendships, they end on such an unfulfilling note—the "breakup" is dragged out as we drift apart for very valid life circumstances, like new cities, colleges, jobs, or even other friends. there is no real resolution. we don't enter a friendship with any clear expectations in mind, and that means we can exit friendships just as easily.
there's this saying that everything in the universe is moving farther apart and that's the imagery i think of when it comes to friendships. gravity brings us together for a solidly intense period of time—but it is inevitable that the space between us will grow, inch by inch. and its this tension between a once tenuous gravitational pull and an equally strong push away that makes me so bittersweet about my former friends.
^may workshop this later for a future piece, but curious to hear about others' experiences with drifting apart from friends and how it feels to reflect on those relationships 🪴
Also so proud of you for posting your thoughts, they are so beautiful and I will be thinking about them the next time we talk :)
I definitely feel the absence of certain friendships in certain moments, but I do think the slow transition out of them is almost beautiful. Instead of a painful breakup, it’s more growing in separate areas. The people that once touched my life no longer fit the life I have now, but I love my life now. My decision-making philosophy is to do things I don’t regret, and while I made unfortunate choices, I also think that they were necessary at the time to know what I know now. So I’m a culmination of all these experiences, whether they continue or not into present day. <3
I think it’s beautiful that you felt so touched and moved by these people, and the absence of them in your life also made way naturally for other beautiful things. Change is necessary, and I think the point where people close themselves to change is honestly scarier than losing someone. Closing yourself to input is the true enemy. No one’s life is a completed project ~
Re: relationships vs friendships: Oftentimes in relationships the death comes from miles away as well, but we don’t see it because of hormones imo— and when it does come it feels jarring. Friendship breakups are just that natural process without the delusions.
Drifting and breakups happen but at the end of the day we choose who we want in our lives and I like to believe that even without the explicit social contract of lovers, that we will still commit and love the people we want in our lives in some capacity for the long haul
💞 and we'll never truly understand why it ended, or who they are today. but it's beautiful you only wish them happiness and that at some point in our life we were so close to another. thank you for sharing, it feels less bittersweet knowing this is a universal human experience 💞